not even gonna fact check this im choosing to automatically believe anything anybody tells me about owen winston

sjweminem:

jaclcfrost:

you know what truly disgusts me… being able to feel my own heartbeat. it’s bad. don’t need to actively know what’s going on in there. don’t need to feel that. it’s not any of my business

unpretty:

burning-mind:

flawlessglamazon:

unpretty:

unpretty:

unpretty:

i turned on the light in the dining room but Tubby had been sleeping in a chair and it woke her up and she was Not Pleased

yes

however we recently got her a new ceramic fountain that better suits her aesthetic

and her own fainting couch

but she still prefers a good lap whenever possible

@unpretty what is Ms. Tubby’s full name if it is not Tubby?

Tubbitha

thebootydiaries:

vampyrequeen3:

thebootydiaries:

vampyrequeen3:

thebootydiaries:

you vaccinate your kids ? i squirt lemon in my son’s eyes to make him stronger against viruses . i activate his fight or flight response . he is so powerful he can now eat entire lemons , peel included .. tell me again how your vaccinated child isn’t inferior ?

😂😂😂😂 because my kid isnt going to die from polio. I could give two shits if she could power down a whole lemon.

my son has been trained to eat polio while your kid struggles to even eat a simple yellow fruit . Pathetic

Omg… your antivax mentality is so deluded that i cannot even begin to explain how you cannot eat polio because your tiny pinhead mind wouldnt be able to process it. Also, literally everything you have said qualifies as child abuse. I hope someone takes your kid away from you so they actually get a chance to live a decent and normal life free of debilitating diseases.

He has mastered laying eggs while your child learns the ABDs , don’t think for a second that they are the same . Your son is 2 ft getting no hoes while my son is 6’4 getting chicks daily . Don’t ever call my head a pin again

thebootydiaries:

omglitters:

thebootydiaries:

h-hey😣 sowwy im newvous 😣😣 you’w so cute 😓😓 fwickkkkkk

i cant believe i am alive to see the worst thing thebootydiaries ever wrote

u must not have seen the other things i post

dendropsyche:

I cut the cake on my baby gender reveal party and the m&m’s are black. “It’s a goth!” we shout in unison. My family is sobbing. Morticia Addams is there,

i found out like this

goodzillo:

f1rstperson:

I went to look this up and this was the first article

Love that everyone collectively and without words agreed to not be normal about this

sephezade:

catgirl-peach:

catgirl-peach:

have you guys ever wondered why there aren’t “shirtless cop calendars” the way they do for firemen? i don’t think it’s the dunkin donuts

my best guess is they don’t want you to see all the swastikas

tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva:

jeff bezos divorced…bill gates divorced…i’m sensing a trend here

fyeahmovies:

Pitch Perfect (2012) dir. Jason Moore

stantler:

This is still so funny

systlin:

sirsparkiethegenerous:

silly-jellyghoty:

memeclassheroes:

He’s on a quest

That’s just Odin.

Sometimes he is just not subtle.